


Strays

by Ara_Vitus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Cats, Multi, Mutant Powers, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Quadrant Confusion, Threesome - M/M/M, Violence, triggering terminology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2017-12-24 09:14:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ara_Vitus/pseuds/Ara_Vitus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a certain circumstance forces two aliens to flee their planet to the foreign planet Earth, an apartment owned by two stoic brothers becomes a shelter to the hidden refugees. Will they maintain their disguise and sanity while dealing with both their problems and that if the Strider family? Pairings may include CrabApple, PepsiCola, Communism, and timaeusTriggered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Pets

The sun had just began to rise as Dirk exited the nightclub, his long weekend nights starting to get to him. The long trek back to his apartment did not bother the stoic blonde. He just wanted to get home so he could rest for the short while that he had. As he neared his building, a soft cry sounded from the far corner of the entrance. Though he wanted to ignore it and keep walking, a shrill, louder cry stopped him. “Cats...” He muttered as two furry balls of gray appeared from the corner. The cats had unusual eyes that consisted of a yellow outer ring, which wasn't too abnormal, but a dark gray inner ring. The scrawnier feline had sparks of red erupting from the abyss of its dark concrete pupils which gave it an even odder appearance. This cat then proceeded to paw at Dirk's arm, claws gracing over flesh without leaving a mark. The nails matched the yellow of his eyes. It meowed softly, almost in a begging manner, as it pawed gently at the human's bare arm. “You lost, cat?” He asked, earning a questionable meow that sounded almost like 'yes'. Against his better judgment, he picked the two cats up ad headed up the long flights of stairs that led to his apartment.  
  
  
  
  
As the three climbed the stairs, the cats reacted in vastly different ways. The cat with reddened eyes stayed still and tense while the other cat meowed loudly and squirmed in his arms. Dirk struggled to open the door as the latter feline fidgeted about. When the door swung open, the two cats pounced inside and frantically looked around. Once the door was shut the calmer cat ran toward it, pawing for escape. The second cat was stalking around as if he owned the place, rubbing his face against furniture and the walls and shedding on the floor. It was amusing to watch until another door opened, causing the animals to stop their exploring and glare toward the invading presence of a new human.  
  
“Dirk, what the fuck am I looking at here?” The speaker had just woken up, his unhidden red eyes burning in aggravation toward tired orange eyes.  
  
“They were rotting out there in the heat. Figured I'd give you something to be responsible for since you don't really do much around her. Pick a cat.”  
  
“Dude, no way in hell am I taking care of a flea-ridden fur-ball. Kick them back to the curve.”  
  
“Dave, pick a cat or I'll stop feeding you in order to feed them.” Though the younger would never admit it, the childish threat actually frightened him slightly. He could never be sure when his psychotic brother was being serious or not.  
  
“Fine, but we can hardly feed ourselves as is. If you want one keep one. Get rid of the other one.” Dave demanded as he picked up the fluffier cat. Mewling and yowling filled the room at the idea of only letting one stay. The cat in Dave's hands sliced its claws deep into his shoulder, tearing at his favourite shirt. “Did you pick these cats up in hell or something!? Get off of me.” He shouted as he threw the demon spawn away, grimacing as it landed perfectly on its feet. The two cats stood together, hissing at the Striders. “Great pick, bro, you found the most demented cats alive. Let's just drop them off with the Lalondes or something.” Again the two cats protested as if they understood the plan to evict them. Dirk shook his head and approached the felines, one holding its ground and the other backing away.  
  
“I'm keeping them both. You don't run this household, lil' bro, so you don't have the authority to get rid of something without my permission. Besides, maybe having a cat will give you something to do besides waiting for him to ask you out already.” The cats' ears perked at the mention of a potential relationship and both sat up to listen attentively. The boys paused to note the odd behaviour of their new pets before continuing.  
  
“I have no idea what you are talking about. If I take the cat will you stop being delusional?”  
  
“We can find out.” The elder replied cooly to his brother's rude comment. Silence fell between the two as the inevitable strife was about to happen. Just as one brother began to unsheathe his sword, the more docile cat meowed in protest. Dirk nearly dropped his katana to catch the scrawny cat that jumped into his arms. “Guess we'll settle this later...” He muttered, exiting the room with his new pest in an oddly slow and quiet manner, leaving Dave alone with his angry cat. The two stared at each other coldly as if hate and distrust could be passed through eye contact alone.  
  
“What do you want, cat? I don't have anything for you. Just sit out here and behave.” The teen walked away from the strange cat and entered his messing room, slamming the door shut behind him.  
  
“Meow.”  
  
“What?” Dave turned to see the cat sitting on his bed, a look of confusion on its face as he pawed at the soft surface. “How did you get in here. You were just on the couch.” The cat did not respond or even acknowledge the question. He simply continued to analyze the bed. “it's for sleeping. Get off.” Dave picked up his new pet and tossed him on the ground, receiving a hiss from the animal. It almost sounded like the cat had hissed 'Fuck you too!' as it scurried into the crowded closet to hide. Dave groaned as the cat made loud meows and moved things over aggressively from inside the dark space. “I don't have time for you, demon cat. I have music to make.” With that said the younger boy put headphones on and forgot about his new problem while busying his mind with work.  
  
  
  
  
“Meow.”  
  
“Stop.”  
  
“Meow.”  
  
“Please stop?”  
  
“Meoooooooow!”  
  
“What do you want from me, cat, I'm busy.” The exasperated human muttered without a glance in the cat's direction. The two were as far from each other as possible without the feline having to hide.  
  
“Mrow.”  
  
“Seriously, I'll kick you out. You can go back to wherever it is you came from.” The cat stopped making noise as it contemplated the threat. Dirk glanced over to see the cat's fur standing on end and his back arched. “You can't possibly have understand me. That's illogical.” He stated as if to reassure the fact to himself, walking over to the cat to examine its actions. He attempted to pick it up and earned a few slices across his tanned arm. It sounded as if the cat was hissing 'go away' before it hid under the bed. He looked at his new wounds, the cat's claws having shredded at his skin in a way he didn't think was normal. He could still hear hissing from under the bed. “Maybe I should reconsider letting them stay here...” Just as he planned to get back to work his phone went off. The text on the screen was a familiar green.  
  
'We need to talk.'  
  
'Okay, what about?' The following message made the orange-eyed boy frown. He swiftly exited the room, tossing the phone on the bed before slamming the door shut. He left the house before Dave could notice, music blaring to cover his abscond. The elder cat crawled out from his hiding spot and jumped on the stiff bed. He glanced at the message and immediately lept to the door, pawing for escape. The green text was burnt into the feline's mind.  
  
'It's over.'


	2. That's not my name!

Loud meowing broke through Dave's music, forcing his eyes open in a rude awakening. “Cat, shut up.” He groaned, throwing a pillow at the closet in an attempt to silence the cranky feline. The teen received only half a minute of shut eye before a paw on his face brought him back to the current situation. The younger cat stood above him, lower body resting on his chest. The meowing continued from another room in the house. “What the hell did he do to it?” Dave muttered as he slipped on his shades, earning an annoying hiss from his cat. “Sorry, your brother isn't an it. He is just the reason I hate life right now.” The cat rolled his grey eyes and pounced of the bed, waiting impatiently at the door.  
  
“Meow!” He cried, trying to jump at the door knob to escape.  
  
“Whoa, relax there, flying feline, I got it.” The second the door was open the cat scurried to Dirk's bedroom and clawed at the door, both cats meowing in unison. “Dirk, let your fucking cat out.” The younger Strider growled as he tried to sleep again. A hiss in his ear interrupted his peace yet again. The young cat sat on his chest again, slate grey eyes glaring into unshielded crimsons.  
  
“Help.” Dave blinked in confusion, trying to make sense of how he heard a cat talk. He shook his head to banish the thought, picking up his cat and getting out of bed.  
  
“Alright, I'll let your buddy out only if I get to tell bro off for taking you guys in and not actually taking care of you.” He made a deal with the feline who seemed to nod in agreement. Dave opened his brother's room to find the elder cat curled up at the door. The younger lept from Dave's arms and pawed at the other.  
  
“Gone.” Dave knew he needed sleep if he was hearing cats talk. Wait, gone? Dirk's gone already? He glanced inside the room to find it empty.  
  
“He left you all alone while he went to work? I mean I'm glad he didn't stick you with me, but he didn't have to lock you up.” The cat shook his head and sprung up onto the bed, nudging Dirk's phone closer to Dave. “No way, little dude, I'm not falling for that one. I'm not dealing with a strife right now if he is here. Just go to sleep.” The younger boy took both cats out of the room and shut the door so they couldn't cause trouble.  
  
“Meoow!” The elder cat whined and bit hard into Dave's arm, the latter dropping both cats.  
  
“Jeeze, I was just helping.” Before he could do anything the younger cat hit the elder across the face, hissing angrily at him. “Weirdest cats I've ever seen...” He sighed as he shut the door to his bedroom and let the cats wander in the front room.  
  
  
  
  
“Dave!” The yell startled Dave awake. He was tired of rude awakenings happening on his weekend.  
  
“What? I'm trying to sleep, Dirk. Give me an hour it is four in the morning on a Saturday.” Sure, he always woke up early thanks to his brother but this was ridiculous.  
“Dave, the cat tore up the couch.”  
  
“Cool.”  
  
“And ate some of the rug.”  
  
“Hated it anyway.”  
  
“They maimed Cal.” This got Dave's attention. He'd always hated that stupid, creepy puppet.  
  
“Maybe we should keep them...”  
  
“What did you say?” Dave chuckled as he exited his room to see the mess. The younger, fluffier looking cat was sleeping happily inside one of the ripped cushion. The elder, scrawnier cat was busy tearing up Cal's body. Dirk snatched the puppet away from his cat, a hiss following the action.  
  
“Wanna switch? I think that one is cooler.” Dirk sighed as he set his loved companion back in his room.  
  
“No, I'm teaching this cat a lesson. Scold your cat.”  
  
“Nah, he's just sleeping like I wanted to be. I thought you wanted the cats.” Dave teased as the elder cat continued to glare at Dirk.  
  
“I didn't think they'd be so difficult. Maybe I'll contact her about this.” The orange eyed boy shook his head at the thought, not wanting to involve a certain two people.  
  
“Oh man, don't involve the Lalondes. They'll just assume we got cats because I'm single and lonely or some psycho-babble bullshit like that.” Dirk didn't respond as he again tried to pick the hissing cat up. Three more scratches were added to his arms and the feline dashed out of the room and into the cupboards in the kitchen.  
  
“Go to bed and take your cat...I'll just let him cool off...” He muttered as if speaking of another matter. Dave didn't have a chance to question his brother before the latter disappeared.  
  
“Okay, weird.” He shrugged, not wanting to be like Rose and pry. “Let's go sleep, cat.” He picked up the slumbering cat, earning an annoyed and garbled meow, but no resistance like the other stray. “At least you are chill. Your brother is a psycho, huh?” Dave paused before shutting his door. “Oh great, now I'm conversing with it.”  
  
“I am not an it!” The red-eyed boy stared in disbelief. Sure, he was tired but not 'my cats can talk' delusionally tired. The cat seemed to pick up on his confusion and attempted to meow to cover his mistake.  
  
“You talk.”  
  
“Meow?”  
  
“Bullshit. What are you?”  
  
“Meow...”  
  
“What's your name?”  
  
“Meow!” Dave pondered his next question carefully. He'd gotten it to talk originally by pissing it off so maybe that would work again.  
  
“Your brother's kinda cute.”  
  
“Don't you dare flirt with him! He isn't even into that kind of thing.” The cat snapped, snarling angrily at the human.  
  
“Got ya. Okay, what are you?” He demanded, grabbing the cat when he attempted to escape.  
  
“Fuck off.”  
  
“Man, you sound like you want a bath. Does the bitchy kitty want a bath?”  
  
“Do I look that pathetic? I do not fear bathing. Humans intellect is obviously an undeveloped function.” The cat freed himself from Dave's grasp and jumped on top of a desk. “I am a troll from Alternia, a complex world far greater then anything you could imagine. Basically, I am your superior in every way!” The alien cat announced, glaring with cold grey eyes at the teen.  
  
“Troll? What, like hiding under bridges or annoying seven year old online? Either way that is officially the definition of lame.”  
  
“What the fuck are you prattling on about, you hornless waste of time? I do not hide under bridges or waste time pestering internet dwellers, I destroy pitiful creatures like you!” Dave stared up at the cat as he wondered if he should have let the obnoxiously rude alien continue to be silent as a cat.  
  
“Got a name, your highness? Or should I just keep calling you 'Cat'?” He questioned with the raise of an eyebrow, making the cat roll his eyes.  
  
“You do not deserve to know my name.” The pretentious feline scoffed, earning a grin from his new 'caretaker'.  
  
“That's alright, I'll name you myself, pussy-cat. How about Snowball?”  
  
“I'm grey!”  
  
“Soot-ball.”  
  
“Stop! That is not my name!”  
  
“Whiskers?”  
  
“Human, stop this instant.”  
  
“Mr. Mittens.”  
  
“This is degrading!  
  
“How about Snuggles? I like that for a cuddly, harmless thing like you.”  
  
“Karkat!”  
  
“Nah, that sucks.”  
  
“That's my name, fuckass.” Dave looked up at the fur-ball, fangs bared as if he was ready to fight.  
  
“No joke? You have an ironic name for what you are, Kitkat.”  
  
“My name is Karkat, moron, how hard is it to listen? Explain how this is ironic.” He hissed, fed up with the humans odd terms for perfectly normal topics.  
  
“Dude, I should not have to explain this it is that obvious. You're a cat with the name Karkat. Do I have to spell it out for you?” The alien feline rolled his golden-grey eyes at the comment.  
  
“This is not my true form, you pitiful boy, it is a manipulation technique that my nuisance of a tag-a-long and I can use on anyone around us. Why am I even explaining this to someone who doesn't understand anything more complex than the concept of sarcasm.”  
  
“So, to fool me you are a talking cat? Yeah, those are not very common around here. Should have done better research, Karkitten. I mean we have this fat cat named Garfield but other than that I don't think cats are known for their chatty, bitchy personalities. Also, my name is Dave. Unless you liked the name Snuggles a lot more than you expressed I suggest you use my name.” Karkat looked down at the rude boy in annoyance.  
  
“Listen, Dave human-”  
  
“Last name's Strider, babe.”  
  
“Don't call me that! I took this form to escape from my planet and hide undetected on your pitiful planet.” The cat troll explained. “Now, leave me be, you insufferable prick!” He ordered, turning away from Dave in a show of disinterest.  
  
“Alright, have it your way. See ya later, Karkitty.” Dave walked away from the cat who was balancing on the cluttered desk. “That desk will probably break under your massive weight pretty soon.”  
  
“Excuse me! I am not fat. I am fluffy!” He shot back, hissing at the boy. He glance at the ground and then back at Dave. “Help me down.”  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“Help me down!” He repeated nervously.  
  
“What kind of cat can't jump down from a drawer.”  
  
“This one! Now help me, dammit!” Dave sighed and picked the fussy alien up, not wanting to hear him whine for the next few hours.  
  
“You are the most pathetic alien I've ever met.”  
  
“You've only met one!”  
  
“Okay, you are just really pathetic then.” He placed Karkat on the bed and laid down. “Let me get some shut eye before Dirk comes to kick my ass for no reason.”  
  
“Dirk? Is he the one who holds contempt in my ancestor's eyes? Not that anyone is regarded with kindness by him...”  
  
“If you mean my brother, than yeah that guy. What do you mean by ancestor? Isn't that scrawny cat your brother?” Karkat sat on the edge of the bed and stared at Dave in confusion.  
  
“Brother? What is this weird human term you keep using to refer to connected beings? I am sure it is worthless information, but go ahead and explain your idiotic and primitive customs to me. I'm sure it will make you feel more useful and delude you into thinking your pitiful existence has meaning.” Karkat only stood tall and mighty for a second before Dave kicked him off the bed. “What the fuck! Don't do that!”  
  
“Sorry, my worthless existence just felt so empty without bothering you.” He chuckled as he took off his shades and neatly set them on the only clean table in his room. Karkat was silent as he gazed up at his scarlet eyes. “What? Never seen human eyes before? They are basically like yours so I don't think-”  
  
“They are nothing like mine! Don't relate that horrid shade to me!” The outburst shocked the human, giving the disguised troll the opportunity to hide before being questioned.  
  
“What the hell are you talking about? Hello? Earth to Kitkat, come in Kitkat.” He received no response from the eccentric feline. With a sigh of defeat he shut off the lights. “Night, freak.” Dave thought he heard a soft mewl of pain from under the bed, but he shrugged it off and drifted into sleep once again.  
  
  
  
  
“Get out of the cupboard.”  
  
“Hiss!”  
  
“Seriously, there are spiders and shit in there.” Dirk tried in vain to get his new problem out of the dusty cabinet. “I don't have time to deal with this, cat, I'm busy.” the cat didn't respond as if to say 'Fine, go work then.' The elder resident began to wonder if taking in strays was a horrible idea. A loud growl from under the sink made him refocus. “Are you hungry?”  
  
“Mreow.” The cat swiped at his hand weakly as he tried to dram him out again.  
  
“Look, if you stay in there all the time you will eventually starve. I don't want to deal with a rotting cat in my kitchen.” Dirk waiting for a response but the feline stayed silent. “Alright, have fun dying. I'm sure your little brother will be fine without you.” As he stepped away a soft, almost worried meow called to him. Orange eyes shifted to see the thin cat peaking its head out, sparks of red within grey and gold glancing up at him with great anxiety. “I've never heard of a cat that worries.”  
  
“Food.” There was a pause before the elder human picked up the tiny cat.  
  
“I'm going to assume that you didn't talk. You really do need food though. Nothing should be this thin. I think I can see your rib cage.” The cat hissed and went to claw into his arm. Instead the feline found himself dropped onto the floor. He mewled in shock, looking up at Dirk as if he was just betrayed. “What? I'm not about to let you hurt me every time you are a bit upset. I'm not being pushed around by a cat.” The elder Strider waited for a response of some kind before grabbing a can of tuna out of a nearly empty cabinet. “I should probably buy food for you guys tomorrow...and maybe something for Dave so he'll stop bitching. Ready to eat, cat?” A small sound alerted him to the presence of the pet on the counter, red cracks accenting yellow eyes as they stared defensively at their own reflection in dark shades. “That isn't blood I'm seeing in your eyes, is it? I don't have the money to get you checked out at a vet unless you are about to die. You aren't dying, right?” Dirk moved a bit closer, the cat holding its ground for once as if to show that trust might be forming.  
  
“Dude, why are you staring at Kankri like that? Looks like you are about to jump the poor thing.” A short chuckled made both elder brother's jump slightly. Dirk turned away from the cat to stare at his grinning sibling, no doubt pleased as punch over the small victory of startling his care-taker.  
  
“Kankri?”  
  
“That's the scrawny cat's name, I guess. Karkat said something along those line. I'm surprised it isn't just Kankat and Karkat. That'd make more sense.” The younger only laughed until the fluffy feline in his arms hissed in annoyance. “Alright, I won't give your brother a nickname, Karkitty.” The cat in question meowed angrily and pounced to the floor, looking up at Dirk as if he were waiting for something.  
  
“You want something, Soot-Ball?” Dirk swore he heard the cat mutter 'Not that shit again' as he pressed his head into Dirk's leg as if to push him toward the table. “Guess you are hungry too. I'm going to have to get two jobs to feed two more mouths. So, it is Karkat and Kan-” He stopped mid-sentence as he turned to see the latter cat had disappeared without even touching his food. “-kri... He really isn't social is he?”  
  
“Karkat seems to think he is better this way.” Dave replied, the younger cat nodding as if this matter had just been discussed in private. Dirk placed one plate of tuna on the floor for Karkat, the latter rushing to eat it as if he'd been starved for weeks, before raising an eyebrow to his brother.  
  
“You sound like you've talked to these guys. Since when do you bond with anything? Sounds like I need to get a Lalonde here. Maybe an exorcist actually.” The comment made Dave's smug grin disappear.  
  
“No, do not include the fucking Lalonde's, you know they will be on your ass just as much.”  
  
“You make a valid argument but I can't have you talking to cats as if they can understand you.” The younger human sighed in annoyance as he glared uselessly at his brother.  
  
“You were just talking to Kankri about how you weren't letting a cat push you around.” He nearly shouted, a soft snicker sounding from Karkat as he sauntered out of the room. The grouchy cat meowed as if to call Dave back into his room. The younger Strider groaned as he turned to leave. “You totally let that skeleton cat treat you like his bitch, bro.”  
  
“I don't see how your fat-ass cat isn't doing the same to you.” Dirk responded neutrally as his brother absconded, neither wanting to deal with each other at the moment. As soon as Dave left, a soft, hardly audible meow sounded from Dirk's feet. He glanced down to see Kankri pawing at his leg, stomach growling. “Oh yeah, you ran off without eating. Here you go, Kan-” He grabbed for the plate of tuna only to find it empty. “That son of a bitch ate all of the food. That was the last can of tuna.” Instead of hearing an annoyed and starving cat meow, Dirk watched the tinier cat just walked away in acceptance and curled up in the corner of the room. Dirk sighed and grabbed what little money he had left before picking Kankri up. “I'm not about to deal with another apathetic kid trying to passive-aggressively get under my skin over food. Dave, I'm going shopping so look after these little bastards.”  
  
“That joke stopped being funny when I was seven, Dirk, I thought we were done with this shit!” Dave called back without bothering to leave him room. Dirk glanced at the feline in his arms who was being rather docile for being in someone's arms.  
  
“Maybe I shouldn't buy anything for him.” He joked, earning a deadpan expression from the cat. “I need to get out more this is just wasting good humour.” Kankri tilted his head slightly as if to question the validity of said humour. “Okay, I know it wasn't funny, shut up. You don't get food if you are going to judge me.” The cat stared vacantly at Dirk, mouth twitching as if he would say something if it would matter. “You are quiet for a cat, aren't you? Actually, for all I know cats are always quiet. I guess it is about time we leave. Don't run off or you will be on your own. I'm not about to chase after you.” The elder boy continued to explain how things worked to Kankri as the two left the house, leaving Dave and Karkat alone.

 

 

“Did you hear that? He said Kankri is quiet. I wish that was fucking true!” Karkat snickered as he pranced around Dave's room, knocking over cups and tangling cords as he went.  
  
“Man, could you be any less of a dick? Stop fucking up my room, you pompous rat.” Dave muttered as he shut him door, going to fix all the things his cat messed with.  
  
“I am not a rat! Listen here, Strider, don't think that I will obey your every word just because I am apparently being sheltered by you. This is strictly a selfish relationship in which we use each other to get what we want. There is no friendship here nor any other disgusting interspecies relationship.” The grey fur-ball lectured, glaring in annoyance at Dave. “Got that?”  
  
“How about no, get out of my room? I don't have to take care of an alien cat who is probably trying to take over my planet. I should probably be killing you and saving the world or something, right?” Dave responded, surprise accenting his otherwise stoic visage when the cat nervously laughed.  
  
“We are not exactly warriors from our planet...” The feline responded, his voice quiet for once.  
  
“So, why exactly are you two kitties here?” The albino boy asked, interested in how Karkat ignored the insult.  
  
“I am not discussing this with anyone. We do not need to know anything about each other. It is best if you see us as stupid purrbeasts and we see you are ridiculous, weak aliens.” Before Dave could say anything else on the matter, the resentful visitor buried himself in the messy closet again to avoid any further questioning.  
  
“Whatever, Karkles, but you better explain some of this tomorrow.” The feline hissed from his hiding spot but stayed put, not wanting to be goaded into giving out more information. He opted to curl up in discarded clothing lining the base of the closet, closing his eyes on the problems of the world for the first time in a long while. 

 

 

 

“I really should have left you here...” An exhausted groan coloured the already tired words, portraying just how impossible it had been to keep the now rather content looking pet in order while around other people. “I don't think I've ever heard that much meowing. Not even the Lalonde's cats meow that much.” Dirk glanced at the cat, a slight smile gracing its usually blank face and amusement lighting up its damaged eyes. “At least you are happy for once.”  
  
“Meow.” Kankri pawed at one of the bags, his stomach growling loudly as he pushed it closer to Dirk. The far too full paper bag tipped as it reached the edge of the table, contents tumbling into the air as the plummeted to the ground. The cat watched with wide eyes as the bag was replaced seconds later, contents either in the bag or next to him on the table.  
  
“Do not knock shit off the table. I will buy you a cage.” The cat whimpered in a pathetic manner, backing away from Dirk with his ears folded back. “Are you afraid of being in a cage or something? I guess that makes sense for any animal. Just don't be unruly and it won't happen.” The teen watched as his new pet began to hiss at him, reverting to its pissy attitude from the night before. “Great, I have to deal with your shit again. Look, just eat and go hide again.” Dirk stated as he set a plate of tuna on the floor for Kankri.  
  
“Meow...” The cat sluggishly jumped to the ground, swaying his tail in an almost depressed manner. When he looked up after eating his fill the human was gone. He sighed, laying down next to the practically full plate and closing his tired eyes. “I want to go home...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This marks the end of my transitioning my currently done works from ff.net to ao3. So from this point on everything will take a century. I write slowly and I apologise. If you have any ideas or wishes for the story please do not hesitate to comment about them I would love the help in getting new ideas going for this since it is going to be long.


	3. Copy Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Sorry for the late update, working and going to school don't mix well with a lazy writer. Also, sorry for typos but I honestly don't have the time or patients to spell check my work and my computer doesn't have a good spell check function.

“Get up.”

“No.”

“Get the fuck up I'm hungry!”

“You are the most annoying thing that I've ever encountered and I've met Jake English.” The younger human groaned as he opened his eyes, looking up to see his unfortunate excuse for a new pet standing on his chest. He seemed brighter than usual, aside from something resting on his little head. “Your eyes are really yellow. They used to be darker. Why is my room so bright?” The cat grinned, placing a paw on the man's eye. He winced in pain, pushing the alien away.

“You have weird eyes. They remind me of Kankri when he gets flustered.” Dave sat up suddenly, picking the cat up by his neck. “What are you doing, you over privileged, pale skinned bulge sucker? Let me go!”

“You talk a lot for a thief. Why do you have my shades?” Karkat struggled to get away, hissing and snarling.

“I was trying to wake your lazy ass up and they slipped onto my neck okay! Now let me go.” He demanded, glaring at the human.

“You got close enough to my face to slip my shades off and get them on your back? What were you trying to kiss me or something?” Suddenly the feline bit his wrist and ran away, trying to open the door again. “Woah, did I get it right?”

“As if! I would never waste my first kiss on a worthless bag of false irony you seem to think is cool.”

“First kiss? This is getting sort of intimate, Karkitty.”

“Don't fucking call me that! I'm hungry so let's drop this girly shit and get to the eating part of the day.”

“You open the door yourself, I know you aren't a real cat so change into whatever weird ass alien you are and twist the knob like a functioning creature. Unless you don't have hands. Are you like a huge sponge or something? Do you live in a pineapple?”

“I already told you I'm a troll, not some sort of demented aquatic menace. Open the fucking door or I'll rip you worthless bul-” The door swung open before he could finish his threat, the force throwing him against the wall.

“Dave, who are you talking to?” Dirk stood at the open door, the other feline sitting uncomfortably in the elder's arms.

“The cat, why?”

“Cats don't talk, Dave. Is John in here? I told you if you wanted your boyfriend here you had to at least ask.” At that note Karkat was back on the bed, listening intently to the conversation as he glanced at his 'brother' from time to time.

“He isn't my boyfriend. And you let Jake in whenever he wants to bother the shit out of me. I don't think we have a fair amount of power here, bro.” The young Strider challenged, waiting with a smirk on his face for a response. What he didn't expect was the have Kankri thrown at him and the door slammed shut.

“If you don't have a reason to leave the room stay in there for the rest of the day.” He muttered before stalking off. Silence fell in the room as the three stared at each other.

“Would it be alright if I am not used as a weapon again?” Kankri asked softly, having already known of Karkat's betrayal to the original plan.

“No one told you to be so throwable, Kankat.” Dave sighed, getting up to lock his door. If he was stuck inside he at least didn't want any company. When he turned to face the bed, however, his 'cats' were sitting in his spot. “Can you move?”

“Not until you get out names right, you primitive-”

“I don't have time for your shitty insults, cat.”

“My name, human!”

“I'll use yours when you use mine, kitten.” The two hotheaded individuals bickered back and forth as the eldest in the room sighed, his tail swishing slowly back and forth. As the verbal strife escalated to Karkat swiping a claw at Dave, the passive troll stepped in to settle the issue.

“Karkat, Dave, I would prefer if you used your words, and when I use that term I am hoping you both have the proper judgment of what are and are not appropriate topics and language for the purpose of compromise that will in no way cause further tension or rage from either party, in order to quell this argument that divides our group. Further more, it would be rather helpful to discuss each others' triggers so that we may not only find common ground with one another if possible, but avoid triggering one another in the process of furthering the harmonious balance that we should attempt to achieve while sharing a living space that is far from spacious.” Once the seemingly quiet and nervous cat finished he opened his eyes, having shut them out of habit to formulate his message correctly, only to see that the two were staring with rather different expressions. While Dave's visage held a confused heir to it, Karkat seemed to be seething in more rage than before. “Did I say something triggering during my attempt to prevent further complications?”

“No, you just talk a lot. I thought you were quite. I spaced out actually, did I miss something important?” Kankri's ears dropped and he laid on the bed in defeat.

“My words are void in any culture I see.” Dave rolled his eyes and turned to Karkat, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“What exactly is he babbling about?”

“Just fucking ignore him, he never shuts up and I can't stand it. I would have left him on Alternia if I could have.” The comment caused the thinner feline to stand up, staring at his 'brother' before stalking over to the door. He stared back coldly at Dave as the boy went to speak.

“Close your eyes, please, if that wouldn't be an issue.”

“Why would I do that?” The disappointed troll sighed as he gave a sterner gaze to the human.

“Either you open the door or you shut your eyes so I may open it.”

“Or you can just show me what you look like.” An unamused chuckled was all he received in response as the cat waited for his choice. “Fine, I'll open the door since you apparently don't trust me. Which is rude and 'triggering' seeing as you should trust the guy giving you a bed.

“Just open the fucking door before he starts talking again! If you don't open it, I'll jump out the window.”

“Go ahead, I don't care if an alien dies because he is an asshole to his brother. I mean, yeah, he talks a lot and I have no idea what he is even attempting to say, but aren't you supposed to like each other?” Before either cat could answer the door was thrown open by Dirk, causing Karkat to jump off of the bed.

“Who are you talking to?”

“The fucking cats, I already told you that. Kankat and Karkitty or something.”

“Dave, I have had it with-”

“You shut the door on my dancestor, you asshole!” The elder Strider was silenced by the yelled from behind the door, stepping into the room and closing the door slightly to see small streaks of crimson red staining the old door.

“Holy shit, did you kill the alien cat? Dirk I thought you were better than that.” Dirk started to panic as he picked up the bleeding cat, leaving the room without a word. Karkat dashed after him but was stopped by the front door. He stared at the drops of red on the floor before pawing at the door as he whimpered softer than he'd ever managed before.

“Kankri.”

 

* * *

 

Dirk ran down the street, holding the cat gently in his arms as he headed for the vet. He didn't want to go there, he was avoiding it at all costs, but he knew his feelings were second to the health of a creature that may or may not actually be a cat. He just hoped it was too late. “Don't worry, little dude, I'm not letting you that easily.” The cat whined pathetically, his arm twitching as he tried habitually to escape from being in anyone's arms. “Just relax, okay, I know you have some kind of issue with me but you need to relax so you don't hurt yourself anymore. You can understand me, I'm aware of that, so just please listen this time.” The scrawny feline nodded, keeping his body still as the human made his way into the animal hospital. At the counter a girl with round glasses and messy, long black hair. She looked up in surprise, having never seen the boy with a cat before.

“Dirk, what happened? Did you and Dave kill that poor kitty?”

“Jade, I don't have time for this. Just take care of him, okay?” She nodded, taking the cat into her arms and brought him into the back.

* * *

 

“Your fucking brother killed my dancestor with a door. I thought you said we would be safe from humiliating deaths here, Strider!”

“Pretty sure I never said any of that and I know he is going to be fine because there is a vet that is phenomenal like six steps from our place. Those feral kids really know how to take care of a feline or mutt.” Dave stretched back in his computer chair before starting on a new comic. Karkat was pacing back and forth on the floor, his tail and ears flicking erratically.

“Would you stop drawing your shitty comics for a few seconds and explain to me what a 'vet' is?” He asked, his voice uncharacteristically quiet and soft. The sudden change made the human spin his chair around and look down at the alien cat thing.

“So a vet is like a doctor for pets. You guys are disguised as human pets. It will be alright, just, I dunno, stop calming down and go back to yelling about how my brother is an idiot. This is sort of freaking me out.”

“If he isn't okay I will skin both of you alive and make sure you bleed to death as slowly as possible.” He muttered before running out of the room.

“Karkat, that doesn't even make sense you can't skin someone and make them bleed to death slowly it doesn't work like that. I hope not at least I'm pretty bad with anatomy and murdering people, I never took that class.” Dave stood up as he heard the front door opening. “See, Dirk is already back with your dancerster or whatever he is to you.” The albino boy stepped out of his room to see a gray skinned thing in the doorway. The intruder had oddly halloweenish horns on his head that barely escaped his tangled mane of a colour akin to the cat's fur. “Wait, Karkat?” Just as his name was said, the alien's yellow eyes widened before becoming white and red, mirroring Dave's own eyes. His skin slowly paled to a sickly whitish peach colour and his hair became a snowy nest of messy locks. “How did you-” The now human like troll ran before Dave could fully digest the situation.

“I need to make sure he is okay!” Karkat yelled back, panic evident in his now fuller and somehow louder voice.

“You can't ever get there without me, Vantas!” The teen ran after his transformed 'pet', catching up with him halfway down the long stairway. Dave grabbed the other's arm just before he could start down another flight.

“Let me go, Strider, I have to take care of him!” The alien shouted, trying to pull away as a reddish clear liquid welled up in his eyes.

“Calm down and get in the elevator, idiot. We can't run down the stairs that fast without passing out, there are too many of them. You know what I've told you about stairs, dude.” Dave dragged Karkat into the elevator and pressed the 'main lobby' button. “I've got a few questions while we wait to get out of here.”

“I don't have time for your fucking questions, Dave, make this thing go faster.” He demanded, red streaking down from his eyes.

“Karkat, later I will teach you how elevators work but for now you are going to have to tell me why your eyes are bleeding.” The trolls wiped his face with his long sleeves before looking back at Dave with an expression of worry that he'd never expected to see from the angry kid.

“That isn't funny, Dave, why would I be bleeding from my eyes. These are tears of frustration, probably. I don't know, my body is stupid and I hate it.”

“Do the colours of your tears change due to mood or something? Mood tears are kind of outdated, bro.”

“What? God, you are literally the stupidest creature in existence. Let's just stop talking and go.” He growled lowly, stalking out of the elevator as it reached the bottom floor, only to be dragged back by Dave.

“Follow me, kitty, you'll get lost otherwise.” Karkat didn't have the time to argue before he was running along side Dave. The few people walking on the sidewalk stared and mumbled in annoyance as they pushed past toward the pet hospital. When they finally arrived they saw Dirk having a less than quiet personal conversation with a black haired boy in shorts.

“I don't want to 'be friends again', Jake, and I'm a little busy right now so can we just stop talking for a few weeks and give this some space?” Just as the other tried to speak, Jade returned with Kankri in her arms. The cat had a cast on his left legs and was whining softly in pain. “Get out of my life for a while, English, I have someone else to care about right now.” The elder Strider thanked Jade before taking the alien cat in his arms and leaving without another word. Jake quietly left the store moments later, leaving the three younger teens to stand in an awkward silence. Jade walked over to Dave, arms crossed over her chest in annoyance.

“I guess you are paying for the bill. I'd prescribe pain medicine but it doesn't seem to have any real effect on him.”

“Can we talk about the weird ass thing that just happened first, Harley? I think that is just as important as Kankri being in a shit ton of pain, which he probably deserves. He is sort of an ass.” The comment was rewarded by a harsh punch to the arm, making the boy wince slightly. “Fine, I won't call my pets assholes even if they are. Just tell me what happened.”

“You didn't know? Jake broke up with Dirk a few days ago to 'preserve their balance in their group' or something. I don't want anything to do with it. You owe me money, Dave.”

“Well I don't have my wallet so how about you come over tomorrow and I'll get it to you. I have to get home to take care of that dumb, I mean precious cat.” Karkat snickered at the comment, rolling his eyes when Jade glared at him as well.

“What? The Kankri is a selfish little prick who needs to have his mouth sewn shut.” Jade gasped, pushing Karkat toward the door.

“I don't know who you are but you are disgusting and I want you out of my show!”

“Relax, Harley, I was just leaving.” He snarled, stalking out of the building as he flicked her off. Jade turned to Dave, who was trying not to laugh.

“Who in the world is that ungrateful jerk?”

“Oh, that's Karkat. He's staying with us right now. Kankri is his cat. What, you thought I bought a cat? That would be irresponsible. Anyway, I better make sure he doesn't get lost. He doesn't live around here. Tell me what I owe you on pesterchum later, alright? I'll talk to Karkat about being less of a fucking douche next time you guys meet.” Dave left the store quickly, knowing that Jade was ready the punch him again. He caught up with the laughing troll easily, grabbing his shoulder. “Not cool, dude, Jade is totally going to kill me now.”

“So what? She was being a baby. Now, we need to get home and help you brother out.”

“You can't just-did you say help my brother? With what, his broken heart? Tell me you are kidding.”

“Romance is a very important subject in all cultures, Dave, don't be so naive.” Karkat walked ahead of him, prattling on about what they should do to comfort the elder male.

“I thought you hated girly shit.” He muttered, follow after him reluctantly.

 

* * *

 

“Kankri, just drink the water, it will make you feel better.” Dirk pleaded, having poured a small amount of whiskey into the water bowl so that maybe the cat would be in less pain. Kankri shook his head, whining softly as he tried and failed to lie down on the floor. “See, this water has medicine in it and it will numb that pain for a while and even help you sleep so you can get better. So if you could just drink the damn water everything will be much better.” The alien shook his head again, causing Dirk to pick him up. “Alright, dude, either you drink the water voluntarily or I shove your face in it until you do it so you won't die.”

“Y..you are a monster, let go of me!” The injured cat shrieked, squirming only for a moment before whimpering in pain. “Curse this fragile body, let me go this instant.”

“So you do talk. Drink the damn water already so you can heal.”

“In what world does water heal anything? While it is an important staple in the diets of many creatures, water cannot on its own heal-” Kankri was shut up when he was plunged into the water face first, a strangled cry forcing water into his mouth. He drank it in a sense of panic, being pulled away after a few seconds and set on the ground. “Are you out of your mind? You could have killed me! Please tell me that all humans are not brash and irrational like this, or I may just be tempted enough to...” Kankri slowly started to trail off, his tiny body wavering a bit. “What...did you put...in that water?”

“Just a teaspoon of whiskey, why?” The cat attempted to step away from the water bowl, only managing two steps before crashing to the ground. “Tell me you did not get black out drunk from that tiny amount of alcohol.” Kankri didn't respond, he was too busy muttering to himself on the floor. “Karkat is going to kill me.”

“Why am I going to kill you?” Dirk snapped his attention up to his brother and said troll in question standing in the kitchen doorway, the latter now having Dave's shades on. Dirk raised an eyebrow at his brother's lose of eye protection, receiving only an exhausted shrug. “Kankri, stop pretending to be a fucking meowbeast already it is getting depressing. They already know we are aliens so what is the point?”

“For the record, I just found out you were aliens.”

“You are slow, bro, so very slow.” Dave retorted calmly, snatching his sunglasses from Karkat's face. “Never touch my shades, Karkitty.” Karkat snarled before turning his attention toward his now hysterically laughing 'brother'.

“A..are you laughing? What demonic parasite crawled into your dull thinkpan to make you laugh like that?” Kankri continued to mewl out in laughter, trying and failing to stand on his broken paws but not seeming to care much.

“H..he called you 'Karkitty', which is an ironic twist upon your unfortunate name and unfortunate circumstances here on earth. How is that not humourous?”

“Are you joking? You would never find that dumb shit funny. And whose name are you calling unfortunate?” Karkat walked over and picked the giggling feline up, glaring at him.

“I just gave him some meds to alleviate the pain a little bit since Harley didn't give us anything.” Dirk replied with a shrug, petting the snickering kitty. “He seems a lot happier like this, let me hold him while I have the chance.”

“No, get the hell away from my dancestor. Don't you dare touch him, you irresponsible moron, he hates you. Just because he pities your matespritship situation doesn't mean you can take advantage of him.” He snarled, slapping Dirk's hand away from Kankri.

“Karkat, shut up for a second. Let me talk to my delusional bro.” Dave pulled his brother away from the trolls for a moment. “Tell me you aren't doing the whiskey trick again.”

“Well, I didn't have anything else and he was whining in pain, so...”

“Dirk, remember the third grade incident? You almost went to jail. Do you want to do that again?”

“This is not the same thing at all and you know it. He was in so much pain.”

“Dirk, you could have killed him. We don't know how their systems work. They are freaky aliens with gray skin and candy corn horns.”

“Your depiction of aliens is the lamest thing.”

“What, no it isn't. That is what they look like.” The younger human turned around and motioned for Karkat to come over to them, which the latter refused to do with an obscene growl. “Just show him your true form.”

“No way. I'm staying like this so I can take care of Kankri and not be mocked for my appearance anymore.”

“You picked the wrong guy to imitate then.” Dirk remarked, chuckling softly as he picked Kankri up and placed him on the couch “You picked freaks to live with, Karkat, get used to being hated.”

“How are you freaks? You are humans on a planet full of humans.”

“Actually, Dave is albino which is a genetic mutation for humans in which the pigment in a humans eyes, skin, and hair are partially absent, thus creating the colours of red or sometimes light blue eyes, pale skin, and nearly white hair.” Kankri responded, sounding a bit like a page of wikipedia.

“When did you learn all of that?” Dirk asked, confused to see the previously drunk cat talk with such coherency.

“I borrowed your husktop to study up on your society and place within it. Also, you shouldn't leave obscene pictures up on your computer.” Dave laughed as Kankri glared at Dirk, scolding the elder human.

“Dude, a drunk cat is lecturing you about your porn. How much control do you think you even have at this point in your life?”

“Absolutely none. Time to get this little cretin to sleep.” Dirk picked Kankri up again, receiving an irritated hiss in response, before heading to his room to sleep. “Remind me to give him a lot more alcohol next time since it doesn't seem to work that well.” The comment wasn't answered before Dirk's door was shut, again leaving Karkat and Dave alone.”

“So, do you have humans anatomy or troll anatomy in those pants?” Dave asked after a long silence.

“You are fucking disgusting.” Karkat snarled, stalking off into Dave's room and locking the door behind him.

“I was just wondering if you studied up on us too!” Dave laid down on the couch with an exaggerated sigh. “Maybe Rose is right, I may have an issue with my cats.”

 


	4. How did we get here?

“The next morning was just as eventful as the previous one, if by eventful one expects a hung over alien feline being envied by his now human looking ‘dancestor’, I believe that is the correct term. All the while, two socially awkward and psychologically distressed boys sit on their couch and wonder what exactly went wrong in their lives to lead to this. What in all of space and time could have forced the intruding species to interject themselves directly into the lives of a pair that already felt alien on their own planet? Perhaps the set could bond over said familiarities? Could it be possible they might grow to become the best of friends?” The faintest hint of a self indulgent smile rested upon her face, a quick glance about the room just to make sure every reaction was captured in writing.  
A scowl could be seen from the newest blonde teen standing against a doorway, unnaturally sharp teeth peaking out of a faulty mirage at the mention of his apparent envy.  
  
Light yet frequent foot tapping arose at the idea of bizarre alien-human bonding, hands running through freshly dyed golden hair and the slightest movement of rounded shades caught almost no ones attention.  
  
A calm yet equally concerned mewl sounded at the mention of familiar obstacles of isolation and disassociation, perhaps too alert of a response from a shifted foreigner.   
And a constant wave of bitter tension just hardly resonated from the final boy, reflective and sharp blinds could not hide the oddly chilling resentment from the diligent eyes of the Striders' guests.  
  
“And when did they start falling in love with felines from another galaxy? That is clearly the best part of the entire story! Ah, our boys grow up so fast.” A much more chipper and mildly slurred voice chimed in, face accented with the most deviously blinding grin any of the group could muster. Unlike the younger girl, this individual kept her glance on the cat and his assumed human counter part as if it would be a crime not to record every moment mentally.  
  
“Ah, yes, I almost forgot that part. This will make for a lovely chapter in both of their journals as well as the two news ones I will have to start keeping up with. What were your names again, Karkat and Kankri Vantas? Roxy, you did bring the extra notebooks as I asked, yes? I just cannot fathom how awful it would be if we missed out on documenting the behaviors of our first encounter with another species.”  
  
“Rose, will you two stop making awful fanfiction about our clearly non-existent relationships with these weird as fuck aliens? I thought we had enough to deal with when that creepy kid online started sending Dirk weird gay art.” Dave commented as he snatched away the notebook in his sister’s hands. Of course, she wasn’t actually related to him at all, she just liked to say they were related so she and her tipsy sister could barge in on the secret inner workings of the Strider household.  
  
“Since you so kindly invited yourselves over, maybe you could elaborate on how you saw through their weird mind games? They pretty clearly look like cats or meowbeasts or whatever they want to call it.” Dirk tried to shift in his seat, the feline in his lap groaning in annoyance and pain at the sudden and slight movement. “Yo, little dude chill the fuck out. How are you even still being affected by this?”  
  
“You are all being far too vocal. The bright light above us is infuriating. It is far too disruptive in this room. This planet is obnoxiously distressing.” The malnourished feline rambled softly to himself, which is to say pretty much everyone could hear him considering how loud the two aliens were in general. Kankri laid curled up on Dirk's lap, a large sum of red yarn bundled and strewn about around his frame. His face shifted from buried against the human's leg or glancing up at the light with instant regret, yet somehow there was a hint of insincerity to the action.  
  
“Gog, Kankri, stop fucking complaining so much, at least you aren't dead thanks to the idiocy of the asshole you are so happy to be close to.” Karkat growled softly, having a hard time even looking over at his dancestor without disgust flaring up in his undeveloped eyes. It was unfathomably bizarre to see the older troll in such close proximity to any other living creature let alone a stranger.  
  
“Karkat, I would appreciate it if you would kindly stop screaming into my ears. I cannot move from this spot unless I wish to be in excruciating pain again, seeing as how I still have a broken limb, so do not accept this minor act of closeness as any form of trust.” One second of eye contact was all Karkat needed to follow the asinine plan of Kankri's design, only a slight nod to assure his understanding.  
  
“Damn, bro, you got shut down by a mutant kitty preacher. Care to let our forced therapists know how that feels?” Dave's smirk lasted about as long as it takes for an unimportant glass of juice to be whipped toward his own face, the action startling the trolls solely due to the speed of it all. The cocky blonde dodged just in time, the shattering glass being only briefly noted by the group of strange individuals. “But yeah, how did you even translate that meowing crap into human so you could put two and two together and realize math has no god damn right to be anywhere near this equation?” The conversation continued with the humans as if all of this was natural, confused whispering between the aliens was hushed by the quick flow of the odd creatures they were now entangled within.  
  
“That is easy, David, and I am a bit worried neither of you two strikingly handsome and overwhelmingly intelligent boys noticed the rather clear variation from a normal feline creature and these two. It does not take a scientist like my sister here to look past simple mental manipulation, if that is what they are doing here.” Rose's words seemed to cause a mixture of confusion, anxiety, and irritation in their new alien friends. Karkat looked ready to physically rip the notebook out of her hands, something she most certainly wrote down in his section, where as Kankri simply glanced at her after his momentary shock with a serenely condescending manner.  
  
“I think Dave and I would both be thrilled to hear exactly how you managed to decipher this basic code before either of us when we have been dealing with this things for a hell of a lot longer.” His words brought a look of dismay from one troll and a scowl from the other, but the expressions seemed swapped on this occasion. Roxy responded to the elder Texan without hesitation or concern for the reactions of said felines, a large grin on her face at the idea of showing her good buddy up. It only made her victory sweeter that the other was no where close to finished talking, something she prided herself in interrupting as often as possible.  
  
“Duh, cats don't just say 'meow' like a little munchkin trying to be all playful and shit. Have you never heard a cat communicate with a human before? The way we write it has no similarities, my coolest of dudes, stop watching anime and do some research.” She giggled energetically, extremely excited to learn more about the alien species that invaded the closed off walls that made up any Strider area. Her eyes rested on a specific furry little ball on her dear friend's lap, yellow looking back at her without a veil of comfort he maintained during most of this transaction. Something about her gaze made Kankri uneasy, though he couldn't rule out the possibility that the shade of her eyes set him on edge. Regardless of the tension she sensed from him, the happy girl continued to babble on. “How dumb can you guys be? I thought we were the dumb or flighty broads, and you were the insufferable or intolerable pricks?” Roxy happily prattled on, the room in quiet concentration aside from herself and her soon to be interrupter.  
  
“There is no way our research is wrong, you unbelievably douchey bulgesuckers, these two are just too fucking interested in primitive meowbeasts to be tricked.” All eyes locked on the humanly disguised troll, the sudden attention making his appearance falter for a split second. Grey skin and horns flashed quicker than most could notice, leaving only the more attentive of each family in the loop. Rose jotted down a quick note to herself, while Dirk tilted his head down toward Kankri as if to wonder how he looked in reality.  
  
"You researched our earthly meowbeasts? Is it possible we might see the sources behind such an interesting misunderstanding?" There was a long pause after such a brief question, something of this caliber being rare of the girl. Karkat, however, was not phased and could not let the silence continue.  
  
"Maybe I don't see the point of letting you humans understand how a superior species does research." A falsely developed crimson glare, arms crossed in defiance.  
  
"Maybe you are afraid to be even the slightest bit incorrect?" A soft and knowing smile accenting elegantly designed lavender lips.  
  
"Maybe you are full of shit!" An irritated hiss, eyes narrowing as fingers grip into disguised flesh.  
  
"Perhaps you are aware of your own follies?" An unwavering locking of eyes, intensity delivered harshly and carefully toward the foreign party.  
  
"Fuck off, Lalonde, no one cares about your psychobabble idiocy." A final breaking point, soft red marks tracing lightly punctured skin.  
  
"You know my last name?"  
  
"These assholes never stop talking about how annoying and invasive you are!" Regret filled the room, but not from the grumpy troll shouting in the corner. No, he was not important to the girls any longer. Lavender and pink shot over to shaded red and orange, a nervous air causing both aliens to silence.  
  
"You boys are so cute, talkin' shit 'bout us. Are you sure you don't have a thing for me, Dirk? You could certainly fool me with all these nasty rumors you spread. What is it people say? Boys are mean to girls they like? So you must be in love with me!" Roxy exclaimed happily, going over to attempt to hang all over the elder boy. A low whine stopped her, reddening yellow irises raising up from their previous safe zone.  
  
"Please refrain from bringing such a volume of anything in this vicinity, Miss Roxy, unless you are fully unaware of the reasoning behind such an action. I would be more than happy to elaborate the many circumstances that are occurring presently that one must recognize and comprehend in order to avoid forcing discomfort upon any individual. For instance, in the situation we are currently stuck within, it is best to-"  
  
"Holy nook-scathing lords of the horrorterros, shut the fuck up Kankri. Okay, I concede to the council of the royal meddlesionals! Watch the stupid human research video on 'cats' and just let me leave before he starts up again. Please? See, I even said please. I'm trying to be polite, just kill me if he starts talking that asinine social-babble-fuckery again." Karkat snapped after a momentary daze, having to take a moment to catch his breath again before taking out his husktop and looking up a very familiar video for the humans. "That's my research, happy?" He was obviously nervous, his mimicked pale flesh glitching momentarily to the gray again before settling. The room was in absolute silence while the four humans listen intently at an obnoxiously catching jingle many were used to on earth.  
  
"Yo, Karkat, definitely trying to burst your bubble here, this is a cat food commercial." Dave had to look toward the ground to hide his slight grin. It took a moment to calm his emotional outburst, as he would later describe it to Rose during a session of meaningless mental drubbing, before speaking again. “Does actual research happen on Troll Earth or is it in development still?”  
  
"To be a bit more specific than my extremely knowledgeable friend here, this is a very popular Meow Mix video involving a dizzying chorus of fake meowing." Rose held a sense of disbelief, perhaps expecting more from the other life forms. “I for once must align my thought process with Dave, is it possible your kind just accepts everything bit of information as factual and instrumental to the society and existence around you? Did either of you consider doing at least a second google search of musical feline numbers before deciding 'Oh yes, this is certainly exactly what we have to imitate, it makes perfect sense. Humans surely are a simplistic creature.' I apologize if that isn't the best impression of either of you, I tried to compromise and go in between your rather different views and personalities. Do let me know how you feel about said impression on a later date.”  
  
“To elaborate, we had merely seconds to look up this information before Mr. Strider here located us outside of what I assume to be his place of work. The first and quickest source was ultimately incorrect, but did work on at least a few of your kind.” Kankri argued back, seeming to have no issue insulting the two who gave them a home.  
  
"That's so adorable! You guys are like confused little kitties. Dirk, you should let us keep them! They are too fuckin' cute to waste away in this shady crimepartment. We can give them a much nicer place to grow up as good little meowpets or whateves. Please, please, please can I at least have one of them?" A sigh of exhaustion fell from the other humans as she went on, at one point rushing over to Dirk to take a closer look at his 'pet'. Ignoring the obvious protest in his mutters of some personal space issue, Roxy picked up the injured alien and hugged him tightly. Without another word, claws were dug into the girls chest from Kankri's back paws. It wasn't hard enough to really do damage, but the shock and minor force gave him the advantage to abscond from the room, leaving only his unfinished present behind before disappearing into Dirk's room. “Ow, he sure is mean for someone who keeps bitching about his own triggers.” As she started checking for any blood, Dirk stood up and headed in the same direction.  
  
“I think now is a good time for everyone to get out. I haven't slept since work last night and I'd really like to calm him down before even attempting it. You know where the door is, don't let me find any of you still here when I wake up in a few hours.” No one had the time to respond or object before the bedroom door was shut and locked. Dave shrugged and got up, grabbing a few things while Roxy protested.  
  
“Thanks for asking if I'm okay, jerk! Oh, and you forgot this stupid blanket thing.” Roxy called after the two, picking up the red mess just to throw it at the ground again. Rose caught the unfinished bundle just before it impacted upon the dirty floor.  
  
“It is not a blanket, actually, this seems to be a sweater in the making.” The younger girl commented, removing a small note attached to the side before adding the project to her sylladex. She read over the note, a small smile on her face. “It seems you two also have a strong female who is taking charge when silly boys do silly things. Who is GA, Karkat?”  
  
“As if I'd tell you anything about her. She doesn't have anything to do with us anymore and it is staying that way for better or worse. Now do me a fucking favor, and never ask about her again.” Karkat commented a lot calmer than he usually did; this isn't to say he wasn't seething with rage, it was just to a lesser extent. He collected his husktop in his sylladex once again as Dave handed it to him, the latter seeming to be rushing them all out. “Why the fuck do we have to leave if Kankri gets to stay? This is some absolute bullshit to the highest degree of blithering human nonsense.” He aimed to glare in great anger at the human who was meant to be his 'caretaker', but something in his demeanor set the rage aside. Dave didn't even bother to tease Karkat or the situation, he simply grabbed his house keys and a bottle of lukewarm juice before he started to gather up the stragglers.  
  
“Look dude, I don't really care to explain this now or ever. Let's just leave before bro flips shit and literally kicks us out of this building, then we can invade some privacy and complain about trivial bullshit. The whole nine yards of Lalonde-based shenanigans.” Dave didn't hesitate to grab Roxy and Karkat by their wrists, pulling the loudly misbehaving pair out of the house as Rose gathered their remaining belonging and followed without complaint. She did, however, place a small bottle of orange juice on the table; while this gift may not be properly delivered, she knew it would be well received. 

  
  
  


 

  
  
  


“Do you, um, think we should really be here? These weird hornless aliens are starting to stare.” A nervous boy muttered quietly to his partner, wincing at each bump on the road she probably definitely hit on purpose.  
  
“Whoa, kickass cosplay, dude, what are the horns made of?”  
  
“They look so real!”  
  
“Your body paint is so perfect, it almost looks natural.”  
  
“Hey, how do you get through doors at conventions like that?”  
  
“Why don't you freaks go back to your planet already? Or at least wait until Halloween to look like that.”  
  
“Do you guys play dnd? Are these like your shitty fan characters or something?” Various onlookers confronted them, blocking the path down the sidewalk. The sun was slowly setting and not too many people were around aside from the annoying few bugging the two trolls.  
  
“Just ignore them, idiot, we need to find the Vantas boys if we want that loot.” The more domineering of the two ordered, dragging her companion through alleyways as clunky wheels slowed them down. “Gog, why are you so worthless, Tavros? Why did you have to tag along on our perfect mission?”  
  
“But Vriska, you and Aranea invited us to escape with you, right?” The handicapped troll stammered out, hanging onto his chair tightly as he feared she might just propel him out of it again. “At least, that is what Rufioh told me. He said Aranea planned on going after them when Meenah and Feferi told us all about their escape and also something to do with their blood color? All of this is sort of confusing and happening all at once. Can things like this stop happening to us?” The pirate dressed girl pushing his chair smiled devilishly, halting their progress just to leap over him. He cowered at the idea of her missing her step and hitting him in the face, but luckily the landing was perfect as was everything the cobalt thief did.  
  
“You poor, pathetic loser, do I have to spell out everything for you? It keeps happening because we are being challenged to finally take control of things and that is exactly what we are here to do.” Vriska continued to walk ahead of Tavros, heading toward the sight of the crash that happened only two nights ago. She only paused when her accomplice wasn't following. “What are you doing? We need to solve this and find them before anyone else decides to follow us. It was just lucky I scammed Eridan out of that escape pod a few sweeps ago. So stop wasting my luck and get over here!” Her yelling faded along with footsteps, disappearing into the setting night without another word.  
  
“Maybe one day she'll remember I can't walk because of her.” The bull troll sighed, painstakingly pushing himself out of the cramped corridors toward their destination. “I wonder where Rufioh and Aranea went off to. I hope they are okay, at least these weird aliens seem mostly harmless and kinda dumb.” He muttered to himself, clearing the alleyway only to almost run over a girl holding several grocery bags in her hands. “Oh my gog, I'm sorry. It is hard to see around these little passages. Are you okay?” He looked up at the girl, bright sky blue looking back at him.  
  
“I'm quite alright, dear, but you really shouldn't be out here all alone and in costume this late at night. Some people are very rude. Come on, let me help you out.” The girl smiled sweetly, a kindness he hadn't seen in a while.

  
  
  


 

  
  
  


Silence would have been the most beautiful thing in Dirk's life right now. The idea of shutting up all of the self-degrading bullshit floating around in his head would literally be the most satisfying thing in this very moment. Yet, even if the constant wondering of what could have gone wrong, there was a very soft and somehow very loud voice constantly asking him if he needed anything or if he was okay. Not even the weird Crocker-Egbert family was this sweetly concerned nor was the Lalonde family this condescending. It wasn't even as if anything Kankri was saying made sense. He just kept talking. Holy fuck, how did he ever stop talking long enough to pretend to be a totally fake, clearly disguised cat thing that can't actually communicate. Does this guy even know what it means to enjoy silence? He was almost in a daze over the amount of things such a tiny creature can say without breathing for at least ten minutes at a time. It was irritating if not a little impressive. Hold up, is he talking about Jake and that whole thing?  
  
“If you have any issues regarding your odd human mating rituals, or rather what I assume to be the lack of one, I will be happy to fill in as a pseudo-moirail for the time being. Of course, I would appreciate not to do this at all, but it would be much less uncomfortable hiding here if you were not an incoherent shambling disaster as I feel you would become without some sort of consoling aid.” This was just the specific thing of Kankri's awfully insensitive lecture that his new roommate first noticed. He kept on babbling though, going on about the 'linear human matespriteship system' and something about 'standard emotional situations'. Eventually, the prattling of an overbearing alien had to stop. Dirk slammed the bedroom door shut, forcing the slender feline into a stance of defensive measures. A cold glare formed on his face, something that looked uncomfortably natural for the 'socially correct' being. “I would prefer if you, specifically you, did not throw doors shut. I apologise for not updating you on my list of triggers, and it was clearly idiotic of me to assume you understood such a thing might be upsetting to me now. That being said, I would appreciate if you and your brother compile a list for us to have on personal triggers so that we might just avoid this type of situation all together. Of course, you can take your time giving me your list, I feel you may not have thought it through as much as I have.” Of course, the little cat could have continued the tyranny of words for days, maybe even decades, but it just seemed like the perfect time to interject.  
  
"Triggers?" There was a clear edge in Dirk's voice as he finally lost the small bit of self-restraint he'd desperately held onto. Was this thing even serious? How could anyone or anything from anywhere think these things were okay to freely talk about in such a degrading manner? Did he even hear the words he was speaking? "How about you stop talking about my romantic life, or as it turns out now the lack thereof? How is that for starters of things that 'trigger' me?" He made a very exaggerated air quote to mock the alien, the latter's ears folding over in disgust. Sure, the action probably made him go from twenty one years old to about six in a heartbeat, but everything about the rotten little cretin made it seem fitting to instigate such childish behaviour. "Secondly, sweet lord do I have a headache. Would it be remotely possible for you to, I don't know, breathe? Just every few seconds. That way I can determine whether your species has the capacity for breathing any form of gaseous elements such as oxygen. This is extremely important to understanding your kind so that I don't accidentally kill you again."  
  
There was a momentary pause, the two just holding a firm stare together. Seeing he won some sort of victory with the silence, his own rant continued. "And if I can't figure that out, well at least I will have a small moment of respite from whatever intrusive subject you are trying to berate me with, long enough for me to actually figure out what you are talking about. Seriously, did other trolls actual listen to you back on trollvox six? I feel awful for whatever living things with ears had to live anywhere near you with that asinine bullshit flowing from your mouth all hours of the day." At this point, the ranting began to slur into some sort of lecture. Dirk had even placed himself in a rather stern position; the boy looked down on the feline with arms crossed, only a few feet separating them.  
  
The feline stood up rather easily considering his injury, jumping onto a nearby dresser in order to find a perch above Dirk's standard view if only by a few inches. "I will not be spoken down to like that, literally or figuratively. Just because you are sensitive about your unfortunate failures, which I was very polite about, does not mean you have the right to abuse me as your caged earth 'pet'." Kankri glared down at Dirk, visibly clawing into the furniture as if to calm himself down. The human opened his mouth to respond, but the torrential downpour of words hadn't stopped just yet. "And now you are attempting to conduct scientific research upon me without permission? That isn't even simply triggering, that is incredibly dangerous! I may not have the rights that most have, which is in itself completely absurd, but I am not some object for you to use as you please." Claws now cracked off a significant chuck of the wood, forcing the primary instigator to retract his nails. He laid down on the desk in an attempt to pacify some rage, though his tail flicked about angrily. "I have no idea how anyone ever pitied you. And my planet is Alternia, I am positive I've mentioned this, why is it so difficult for anyone to listen to me?” The mutterings were noticed by Dirk seeing as neither Vantas understood the concept of whispering. The only way he could think to end the insane ramblings of the narcassictic boy would be to yell. It would take a lot for Kankri to admit how nervous the increased volume of the boy made him.  
  
"Unfortunate failures? That is how you are going to describe my break up with Jake? A topic that you have neither any knowledge about, nor any right to talk to me about because one, we aren't exactly friends you know and two, I don't need anyone to talk to about it. And another thing I don't get about you, how is it polite to just rant on and on about someone else's personal life without ever getting permission from them first. Even if someone decided to give you permission to do that, why would you think that is an okay thing to be talking about in the first place? I don't know how you trolls, I believe it was, do it on your planet, but here it's common courtesy to give someone a little bit of time to grieve over the bad things that happen to them. Unless you are a Lalonde I guess, but that isn't the issue here. Oh, and I was being facetious about studying you. It was just an ironic way to say you don't stop talking. Don't get all freaked out like I'm going to be secretly observing your anatomy. That is wrong in almost all cultures as far as I'm concerned." He was beginning to run out of breath. Conveying endless lines of conversation was so much easier online than doing it in person. How did this boy find it in his small feline body to do it for so long. He felt like he might faint soon if he didn't breathe.  
  
"In my opinion, all romantic escapades are unfortunate failures, but I will apologise for using factual terminology to describe something many find to be important, again for reasons I honestly cannot understand. And I will admit, our species may be a bit more chatty on the topic than yours, I will have to make a note of that." He sat up a bit, tilting his head at the out of breath human. The appearance of distress on the boy's covered façade seemed to shift all of the annoyance out of his voice. "Are you alright? Perhaps you ought to talk less, you are putting a lot of strain onto your human lungs, I believe that is the term for oxidizing recipticle. It is strange that you share many terms as our apparently higher kind. Do you need to lie down or have a drink?" The blonde nodded ever so slightly, the genuine concern taking him by surprise. He sat down on the unkempt bed.  
  
"I'm not so used to talking in person. Most of my conversations are of the online persuasion, and due to that and the nature of my verbose vocabulary, I tend to talk in long chunks. But since I don't generally vocally communicate. " He stopped and took a deep breathe to settle the soreness of his lungs. "I don't quite have the stamina for long conversations IRL." It took a very puzzled look on the cat's face for Dirk to realise he used text talk out loud. He softly cursed Roxy, knowing it was her frequent conversations riddled with such jargon that effected his speech. "And no to the drink. I may drink occasionally, but it's not an answer to any and all problems. Do I look like Roxy?" The winded one smirked at the joke, earning a sigh of annoyance from his room mate. Kankri stepped down from the shelf, gracefully pawing his way over to Dirk's side on the bed.  
  
"I am going to go grab you a non-alcoholic beverage, like water perhaps?" He hoped off of the bed, glancing back at the human. The alien paused at the door, looking up at the handle as he pressed both front paws onto the door. “Oh, this won't do.” Before Dirk could even register what the issue was, the grey animal jumped onto the edge of the bed and lunged up at the handle. It all happened rather fast, the human hardly having a moment to form a sentence before Kankri had vanished out of the now open door. Only moments passed before the other returned and he was rolling a bottle of water toward Dirk with his tiny paw.  
  
“How the hell did you do all of that in a cat's body?” He wanted to ask a more structured question, something along the lines of how he could do any of that with a broken rib, but the lack of air and sleep were finally started to drain his body and mind.  
  
“Healing works differently for me, I suppose.” It was as if the troll understood the actual confusion, but that didn't open him up to much of a conversation. “You ought to rest your body and mind, I am going to do the same. It is very bright out and I am not interested in adjusting to your earthly star just yet.” The little feline gave no option for comments as he hurried off into the closer, curling up in clothes that littered the base. Kankri slowly pushed the sliding door shut with his paws, leaving Dirk with his water.  
  
“How the fuck do I land myself in these situations?” Dirk muttered to himself, taking a drink of the water and watching the door. He saw a glint of silver on the floor, moving to pick up a fallen object. It seemed to be a necklace, most likely from the alien. “Why does he have a cancer necklace, that seems weird of a fucking alien to hang onto.” He tossed the article in a drawer, assuming he didn't want it as he was left in such a careless manner. Dirk laid back down, yawning as he realised just how tired he was as well. “Working nights and taking care of Dave is bullshit, I don't deserve this. These cats aren't helping either.” He joked half heartedly as he closed his eyes, blindly resting his glasses on the counter. 

  
  
  


 

  
  
  


“Is there any reason we were thrust out into this blistering fucking heat so suddenly aside from your companion being about as unbelievably worthless and asinine as mine?” The humanized troll griped loudly, though he was standing very close to the shade as the group made their way through the bustling little town. After being forcibly removed from the rather vacant seeming apartment complex, the four were headed to meet some friend of theirs that had just gotten back into town. Though Karkat had no interest in meeting any other ridiculous humans, he couldn't help but feel more comfortable outside of that tiny hive. From the looks of it, Dave also seemed to be more at ease in the open.  
  
“It seems that Dirk is having a particularly off day, so I am sure it is just best to leave him be at the moment. It would have been optimal to bring Kankri along as well, but than again this is much more intriguing of an outcome. No one has ever witnessed Dirk in this state aside from his own flesh and blood, I assume. Dave, why won't you divulge some insight into that is possibly happening?” There seemed to be an uncomfortable tension between the two youngest humans, silence accenting the feeling tenfold as Karkat and Roxy exchanged a confused glance. “No? I didn't think you would, but who would want to confess the secrets of their siblings that easily anyway?” Rose babbled on to herself, conveniently filling the social void as they headed onward to the next destination.  
  
As the group trudged on through the unbearable heat, which had tripled in its unpleasantness as the sun continued to rise, the fake blonde walked closer and closer to the wall as if the lights threatened existence itself. No one seemed to really notice Karkat's growing distance until he was quite literally dragging his sharp nails against the concrete buildings and softly hissing at the heat beaming from above.  
  
“Is something bothering you, Mr. Vantas?” The taller of the Lalonde's asked, interrupting her own musings and bringing the more oblivious two out of their own thoughts. “You seems to be writhing in pain in the sidelines over something we may no be able to perceive.” He wanted to glare at her, that much was obvious, but the look displayed on his face only showed agony. Tripping over obscenity one after another, trying to find the right way to explain the situation, he settled on pointing directly up at the sky.  
  
“Oh mah gosh, does our sky hurt you? Is that a thing that can happen to aliens? Can I run tests about that?” Roxy very excitedly pulled the troll away from the ledge, but the moment his skin made contact with the harsh rays above he shoved her away and retreated to safety. “Oh, my bad, the sun is hurting you. You have super soft skin, it must be really sensitive. Are your eyes hurting as well? Can I test those out too?”  
  
“Maybe we should talk about something not related to sizzling retinas to get that topic of pain out of mind, Rox, at least while we are wandering over to the Crocker Egbert establishment. Did they ever pick a definitive name, because that's getting old.”  
  
“Perhaps you could tell us how it is you found your way to the Strider household?” Rose asked, not completely ignoring Dave, but just enough to earn an exaggerated huff of annoyance from the boy. The alien stared forward in a determined sort of way, as if he was replaying the events in his head.  
“I'm not entirely sure you deserve to know what happened to us.” He seemed to be considering his options. Suffer while listening to the other three bicker, or try to remember why he is suffering in the first place. The decision was rather clear for once. “Okay, so here's what happened when we first landed on your shitty lava pit of a planet.”  
  
“How do you know what lava even is? Do you have troll lava up there?”  
  
“Shut up, Dave.” All three said in union before quietly letting Karkat return to his story.

  
  
  


 

  
  
  


Even in the dead of night, a large crash was sure to cause commotion. Karkat punched and kicked at the locked door of their stolen vessel to try and escape, proving difficult as the emergency protocol lock down was underway. They needed to get away from this mess as quickly as possible, and he needed to find help for Kankri. The latter lay still on the floor, only the faint movement of his breathing showed that the elder troll still lived. Red blood stained his gray attire, soaking through the thick handwoven sweater he wore. The younger laughed nervously, trying to shake his dancestor awake.  
  
“Hey, Kankri, you gotta get up before Porrim sees what happened to your shirt. She's going to flip her metaphorical shit since you ruined it. Don't you want to try running from that like you usually do, you cluckbeast? Kankri?” Unusually weak insults fell on deaf ears as the troll in question stayed unresponsive. The only solace to be found by Karkat would be that something deactivate the security measures, allowing the door to fall open. Darkness shrouded the barren concrete before him, and a sole vehicle sat next to their crashed transportation. It looked as though they had just missed crashing into the tiny looking thing.  
  
“What the hell was that?” A girl yelled from a nearby building, it looked as though the local creatures had just been closing up shop as some sort of treatery.  
“Looks like aliens, let's go check it out!” The younger boy next to her chimed in, starting to head over. Karkat immediately panicked, grabbing his knocked out companion and tossing him over his shoulder before the two vanished from the parking lot. He had no intention of learning if the things were friendly or not. The only things he has ever known is to not trust anyone and the run. Running had been their entire like, and damn if he wasn't good at it by now. Not that he was overly proud of that fact.  
  
Several other people passed in their haste, but not one seemed to worry about their odd appearances. The troll was equally disinterested as he searched for a place to hide. After running as far as his legs would carry him, Karkat collapsed against into a narrow alleyway, dropping Kankri to the ground as well. “Fuck, there isn't anywhere to go. We're going to get caught and murdered. We should have just stayed and accepted it there.” He babbled to himself, looking back and forth from the entrance and the wall behind them. A sound of discomfort made the younger troll screech in a fit of defensive fear, brandishing his sickles shakily.  
“You really need to put those away, as always I am not your enemy.” The shuffling of fabric against the concrete wall brought the agitated one out of his panic, a sigh of relief resonating from Karkat. “Did you get a good look at any of the inhabitants?”  
  
“What, why in the ever-loathing gaze of the bullshit purple blooded messiahs would I be paying attention to any of these things? Our first priority should be hiding and staying safe, just like it always is. The last time you had a different idea and we followed it-” The rant was cut short as the taller figure began to change in appearance, his skin altering as if ice were cracking and shattering off of the surface. Patches of gray fell off, dissipating into soft and bloodied ash as it vanished from sight. A pale, almost blank pallet replaced the somber tones, scars showing brightly through the tears in the battered fabric. Sharp claws retreated into fresh flesh, drips of crimson falling to the ground below. Horns shrunk back into his skull and teeth clenched just after they withered and dulled in shape. Reddened eyes faded to a dull gray in the final act of the transition, leaving Karkat in concerned silence.  
  
“Don't you think mimicking our new co-inhabitants might help us hide?” The scolding was softer than usual, a twinge of pain echoing in hushed tones.  
  
“You said you were never going to do that to yourself unless you had a good reason.” Arguing wouldn't get them anywhere, a slow emergence of brightness trickling out of the cracks above their shrouded alley.  
  
  
  
“I believe this is a good enough reason to use these abilities.”  
  
“Kankri, you fucking promised you wouldn't! What if something happens to you? We don't know what that does to your body!” Murmurs could be heard around them as it seemed several humans were stumbling out of a nearby facility, something that happened to be underground and away from the threatening heat quickly reigning above their heads.  
  
“Whoa, am I wasted or are their aliens over there?”  
  
“No way, that one dude is just in costume.”  
  
“I bet they are some freaks who dress up all the time for fun. Fuckers can't be happy with who they really are.”  
  
“What losers, let's get outta here before they ask us to join their larping.” The group of inebriated twenty year old strangers dispersed, giggles following them out into the once barren streets. Kankri and Karkat froze as more and more creatures started to pile out, panic rising as a few approached them.  
  
“Pardon me, old chap, but are you alright? You look as pale as a ghost.” A black haired boy who looked almost identical to the eccentric alien hunting parking lot kid from earlier walked over to Kankri specifically. He towered over the tiny troll, but only for a moment before Karkat shoved the man to the floor.  
  
“Kankri, let's get out of this horrorterror, move!” The frozen look on his brother's face didn't leave as they ran, pushing past many other inhabitants as they delved deep into the club each member now exited. Karkat dragged them through narrow halls, avoiding the loud and somehow brightly dark main areas that seemed over crowded even at such an early hour. The weaved through the sea, ending up on the other side of an employees only exit door and backed into a hopeless dead end back in the emerging sun. Since Karkat dramatically burst through that last door thinking it would be an escape, the idea of keeping it open seemed meaningless. As the sun continued to bore down upon them, the younger heard the loud metal door clank shut behind them, refusing to ever been opened from their eternal tomb. “We can't get out, we're going to fry here if we can't find cover. I don't want to die this pathetically or this quickly!” A resounding punch silenced the other, concrete on the wall behind him cracking ever so slightly as Kankri's fist met the wall just next to Karkat's head.  
  
“Stop panicking and help me find a place to hide.” The order was stern, much like his typical tone of voice when speaking to anyone they knew. It was a reassuring sound for the first time in sweeps. The two searched around the tiny space, accessing three options. Breaking down the door they previously came in, which would attract a lot of attention and was ruled out immediately. Climbing over the huge wall and hoping they don't get caught or die on the fall down, another obviously bad idea. The most practical idea was to trick whoever came through the back door into helping them escape, by any means necessary.  
  
“You want us to ask one of those things to let us out? That is the stupidest, most idiotic idea you have ever had.” They didn't have much time to argue as the door began to open back up. Both aliens wielded sharp sickles, slipping off to the side wall next to the door in case of an attack. A small, soft mewl sounded as a fuzzy creature slipped out of the tiny opening. “Oh, great we freaked out over a meow-beast. Between this stupid thing and the blinding ball of burning inferno above us, life is looking pretty damn bright.”  
  
“Wait, perhaps this is a good method for us to hide. If this little beast could run through this hive without being bothered, maybe we can alter into its shape to escape in a similar fashion? These things may be worshiped by these odd life forms, that or they are so common no one notices them. Either way, we can use it. Do you want to try shifting again? We need to look like this fluffy thing.” Kankri picked up the cat, earning another small squeak before being scratched. “Deceptively dangerous, that is the exact thing we need to be.”  
  
“I am not going to pretend to be a worthless pet, give me a better idea.” Another noise clanked by the door, this time much like footsteps. “Okay, fine, I'll do it. I'm not going to do your way, I don't want to break my already useless body.” As Karkat continued to complain, Kankri had already shifted to an almost perfect replica of the feline next to him. Slender figure, shining amber eyes, and ashen fur a shade lighter than the actual animal. The actual animal easily bound over the wall, something that admittedly wasn't as tall as previously assumed, but that plan was already thrown out.  
  
“This would be much easier if you would just comply for once and hide. Even if you just make them think you look like me, they will never notice as long as they do not touch you. Do not let one of them pick you up.”  
  
“You mean like you just did with that meow-beast, something that is incredibly common place I assume universally?”  
  
“With your cuddly personality and aura, we might be in for trouble.” Karkat glared at his companion just as a blonde human stepped out into the heat, looking down at the two 'cats'.  
  
“You lost cats?” The two kept quiet, observing the actions of the boy. Before either could react, Kankri was lifted up in the air and carried by the creature's shoulder. Karkat stepped closer, ready to fight, but he too was picked up and thrown over the other shoulder. “Fuck, you are much heavier than expected. Come on, let's go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that took a decade, my friends. Life has been a mess! I hope you like it though, thank you for hanging in there with me.

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to be continuing this one rather slowly and it is going to pushed by the thoughts of readers when/if it gets popular. Who am I kidding, no one is going to care.  
> The story may drift into a more serious tone if readers wish and may even involve more *intimate* interaction between the characters if it is requested. Otherwise I don't know what to tell you to expect. Anything I guess.  
> Thank you for taking the time to read this.


End file.
